step by step…

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© photo by michelle bryant

step by step
i put one foot in front of the other
and begin my daily search
for love, for compassion, for tenderness.

not just in this world,
(although that would be magnificent)
but in my corner of it.

you see, it is my crave
that i am found special, unique,
amazing, worthy of such a capture
as this thing called love.
true, unbridled, passionate, love.
but i have this desperation, this desire
to not only be loved but also liked.

it makes up who am i
and provides my reason for getting out of bed every morning
and continuing this search.
yet the ache of each step
as i pummel the ground shoots arrows
of throbbing pain up my spine
encompassing my very being.

i don’t want to live a life of hurt
or loneliness any longer.
i’ve more than paid my dues.
and yet, through this agony,
i fear becoming hard and cynical
as a result of the path of destruction it has
trampled through my soul and
raped my already wounded heart with.
i used to feel so tenderly the sting of what other’s held deeply
even in the midst of my own devastation.

and now I wonder…

could the love i once felt i had to offer
the love of my dreams,
my reserve,
be as tremendous
as the repercussions of the damage seen within
the windows of my eyes?

it is that hope that keeps mi alive.
therefore,
step by step, every day
i take what knowledge i have gained,
try not to be bitter, yet be guarded,
to gather what is left
of this shell of a person, this overcomer
and claim the victory
as i gather the remains of the wreckage
of my broken spirit,
my untrusting soul,
my trampled heart
and my shattered dreams.
and so step by step,
i aim to show the world…

(well, my corner anyway)
the new and improved mi.
giving back all that has been stolen,
yet, keeping on reserve
for the quench i crave,
for the love that stays,
through my invisible existence,
that love which sees my worthiness
through this mess,
that’s willing to walk with mi

day by day,
down the path…
step by step.

© michelle bryant

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